It has been brought to my attention that recent posts in this space have been perceived to have called negative attention to the reputation of the fine and non-offensive people of Podunk, NY.
On behalf of myself, the editors, the writers, the families, friends, and students of myself, the editors, and the writers, and a guy named Bill I would like to apologize for any perceived slight. Any offense was unintentional, and without any good or substantiated reason.
I would like to call all of my readers to a gathering in Podunk at a future date where I will, in a proud, sincere, and friendly voice proclaim before one and all that Ich bin ein Podunker.
We wish the people of Podunk well, and congratulate them on not being from Convoy, Ohio (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Convoy,_Ohio).
Sincerely,
Mitch Garvis, CPF (Certified Podunk Fan)
The World According to Mitch 
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