The World According to Mitch

I want to be clear that I feel for people with allergies… I really do.  With that being said, I think the following conversation I had on Saturday to be entirely ridiculous:

(Woman at Tim Hortons): What can I get for you?

Me: I’d like a toasted bagel with peanut butter.

WaTH: Anything else?

Me: No, but please put the peanut butter on the bagel for me.

WaTH: I am sorry, we cannot do that – we are a peanut free restaurant.

Me: No, you are not… you sell peanut butter.

WaTH: Yes, but we cannot put it on for fear it will contaminate our kitchen.

Me: Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical?

WaTH: What is hipo-crical?

Me: Forget it.

Are you trying to tell me that it is safer for me (a customer) to sit down at one of your tables and put the peanut butter on my bagel without any type of controls than it would be for you (a trained – we assume – food handler) to put down a paper, put on gloves, and use a plastic knife?  Imagine the next person who sits at my table is allergic to peanuts and goes into anaphylactic shock because the table was not properly cleaned off? 

There is a popular breakfast chain in the United States that rhymes with Awful Mouse that no longer serves peanut butter.  The last time I was there this disturbed me because I was really in the mood for it, but at least when they claim to be peanut-free they mean it.

Sorry Tim Hortons, you cannot claim to be peanut-free and serve peanut butter.  Either peanut-butter my bagel or don’t… but don’t tell me I have to do it for the safety of your other patrons.

…obviously written in an insomniac late-night haze.